just like that

the mba changed my life.

this theme might have appeared several times before and will continue to appear in the future also. with less than a month left for the mba program to be finished, i am now gearing up into nostalgia mode. never again can i be the person that i used to be two years ago. mba was a dream i had been chasing for a while and had always heard people say - those were the best two years of my life, - those 2 years changed my life. and i would say, yeah yeah, i know, big deal. but i didnt know. its only now that i do. cant even begin to start counting all that i have learnt. can almost say it sounds cheesy - but wait a minute. even the meaning of cheesy i only figured out after coming here.

from the more day to day things of living in a different country like the world of fork & knives, differentiating between types of glasses for drinks, giving up wearing open footwear so that i could stay warm, finding 18C temperature pleasant and 32C hot, enjoying the simple flavour of pan con tomate, getting used to jamon in the supermarket, seeing more cars than people on the streets, being discreetly polite with strangers, all of this and more trying to blend in.

then the journey began. courses like abp, marketing, accounting in the first term to entrepreneurship, geopolitics and economics in the final term, it has been an eye opening experience to see the world in a new light. what i will miss most is the discussions with fellow students and just observing your own thoughts to put it into words - because the way you think is indeed different and is indeed valuable. even random discussion such as about the japan earthquake can turn into advanced analyses and opinions. i would sometimes read a case only for the general awareness about that company - apple, ducati, walmart, you name it and we have assessed it to some extent or the other. something tells me the number of cases we do in 2 years is around 700..

and then the perspectives it brings. why did you join the army? why did you leave it? why did you go to brazil for your undergrad? how did you learn so many languages? where all have you travelled? just by asking people about who they are i got to know so much more about the world. for my parents and friends back home, the world is still us and uk. for me it is much more, it is not shameful to have an accented english, to make mistakes, and to forget words, to not be able to understand english songs and movie dialogues.. it is just different and hence completely acceptable. and as a result your expectations will always be so low - because what you are expecting could be wrong.. to put it in a better way, it could be just different and its nobody's fault or responsibility. almost as simple a matter as you like red and i like white. who is right or wrong then?

and i realised the importance of maturity. i dont say this because i am arrogant, but i am grateful for my upbringing and for people who have influenced that i have the level of maturity that i do. i am not my favourtire person, but now i am definitely i know the most about. with my weaknesses and with my abilities and with being able to clearly state what is in my mind. there is still a level of hesitation, the need for framing it all in a politically correct way. but then now i have also trained myself to call spade a spade and stop carrying the load of disenchantment when there is not recourse. to go out and take risks. explore, fall down get hurt and try again. like it felt on the first day on the ski slope. when i would go down, i couldnt control the speed or my direction and i would go faster than i wanted to. and of course i would fall. sara meanwhile, who had started with me, would cross my fallen self in a few minutes shaking her head. i would eventually get up, zoom and down and see her shake her head as she would cross me again.. the next day, i didnt fall, but i have realised that i have to accept that speeding, falling, getting hurt and then learning lesson - that is how i live my life. and the mba has taught me to not be afraid of making mistakes, because sometimes these mistakes turn out to be the right things in hindsight.

when i did my personality assessment, i found out what i already knew that i was risk averse. but i also found out that i was more scared of people's judgement of me and hence determined a lot of my actions based on what people would think rather than what i really wanted to do. in the past i can think of the iim incident when i didnt think like this.. but maybe somewhere down the line, i lost that.. and life brought me all the way here to figure it out again. i tried it and believe me it worked like a charm. you do what you feel is right. if people care enough you will find out, but mostly they dont care as much as you fear they would.. and the biggest lesson i have learnt is about relationships. they are not perfect, if they seem to be then you rather put them to test and believe in the perfection if they succeed that test. i guess i needed this test and figured out that the reality was different from my perfect story. and similarly in creating a new story no one can plan it either. you have to fall, get hurt and learn. the reward is worth all the trouble and the trouble you take will definitely have its reward too. trust your instincts, keep your eyes open and take the plunge. you will at least enjoy the weightlessness if nothing else.

and the mantra that took me through all the stress - its ok its ok its ok :D