because their culture is so different from most others that the differences never stop to amaze them. there is something about all of us who have been brought up as indians, whether we live in india or outside, that cannot be replaced, cannot be changed. to start with, one of those things is the love for overly-dramatic hyper-romantic musical 3-hour-long bollywood movies, which for others dont even comply with the definition of a movie.
chawdhary sa'ab aap bhi in kapdon se dhokha kha gaye. hum to hindustan ko apne dil mein liye ghumte hain...
no prizes for guessing this is from DDLJ. (in case you really couldn't guess, well now you know). this one is my favourite - for its clean, pristine, innocent and virtuous feel. makes you believe in the beauty of love. make you fall in love with the idea of love itself. when the spoilt brat falls for a girl's innocence, you want to be that innocent girl whom a brat will fall for and mend his ways. when he makes up an amorous story of what happened last and then as she starts crying he first apologises to her, then scolds her to make her listen, and then hugs to comfort her, you want to be that girl, you want to cry and be cared for like that. when you travel in europe across the swiss meadows, you hum the song "na jane mere dil ko kya ho gaya". in zurich, you buy the big cowbell not because its pretty or typically swiss, but because kajol had bought it when she was about to miss the train and which then led her to finding love and changed her life forever... but then, reality bites.
zarurat pairon ki zanjeer ban gayi hai aur roti ne par kaat diye hain...
the movie comes to an end. the trip comes to an end. you realise that looking for raj is impossible - brats in the real world are not like him. or maybe you are not the one who can make them feel differently. either you have practical constraints like a huge loan to pay-off, or you dont find minds as flexible as yours. if, at some point of time or under some influence, you feel that way and you feel the world is giving you signs that he is the one, you should already know that its time to wake up. it was a dream. and dreams, just like movies and like trips, need to come to an end too.
but being an indian rescues you from that trap of depression. movies cheer you up and set you off on the course of real life, with a more practical approach. as indians, we check if we can spend a life together and then allow ourselves to fall in love. not the other way around. not like some others - "lets see where this goes", "lets not define this now", "lets be cool about this", "you look good", "you are physically endowed", "i can live with you", "and oh yeah i forgot to think about it, but now that i am, i think i am in love with you". "but lets wait some more", "and yeah now, just to change the way things have been for too long, will you marry me?"
exactly the other way around for us. first thing that we think when we consider someone, is whether i can present him to my family. will my grandmother like him? we imagine being all coy while being surrounded by his family who are doting on you and declaring you as the one. and of course which movies he likes has to be a big deciding point as well. can he sing some classic romantic jagjit singh ghazals to woo me? for example - you will willingly break and bring the moon and stars for that someone, (but see even though that doesn't even make sense in english, thats what growing up on bollywood romantic movies does to you.) after that common hobbies, characteristics such as manners and discipline are all a bonus and to be discovered as part of the journey ahead. and people do change, right, so don't worry about the little chips on the shoulder. then there's the whole part of happily living together ever after. that marriages are made in heaven and last for 7 more births. when two people get married, their families get married to each other and the celebrations last forever, not to mention the preparations beforehand. and after that there might be many more specific cultural differences - my mother drained water from the rice after cooking and not before, like yours does and i don't like it - but the fabric is sustained by these quirks and the broader bickering about the corruption and the heat and crowds and the grime and all those things that define us as indian. forever. everywhere.
you have to be lucky to be borne and brought up as one. its like lycra - you either have it or you don't. so don't expect other cultures to have it, and just take it in your stride when they shock you. you are the one who is exotic, your culture is what they are curious about. you are the star.
So much for my belief that all SRK movies are useless.
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