and the times are changing

i started this post two weeks, so its the date of two weeks ago that you will see. times have been changing for much ago and continue to do so.. i am only getting my head around it now.. it was probably the 12th of november 2010.

you know what a glass shattering moment is? when you suddenly see the truth of a situation which you have been living for a long time but never realised. its like the truth was just out of your glass bubble, just out of your sight. then a trigger shattered the bubble and you are out there in the open. your reflex is to defend yourself. but what you are defending against is a change that has already happened in the past. like falling out of love in the movie socha na tha. or waking up to find childhood likes outdated in the movie 13 going on 30.

after the defensive reaction you start to accept the truth. it hurts. you oscillate between being in denial to finding justification. why this happened, why i didnt see it coming, why i didnt realise earlier, why it became to late to amend, why nothing can be done no more. why. why. why. just like learning the 5-why framework in your strategy class, at times like these also, finding answers to these whys should solve the problem. it doesnt because we get emotional about it. so we find other defence mechanisms. we talk to people, we do roleplays, we get into political correctness and analysis. we also get into blaming, bitterness and finding faults.

and then we find more constructive ways. like making other drastic changes. surround yourself with so many changes that all you are able to do is cope with change. no more refuge of a comfort zone. people will judge this way or that, might as well let them. stop drinking maybe. then you take one more step and start doing something new. take the change to a whole new level. learn playing the guitar. maybe. yes.

the final step is to close the attachments in the past. full closure. takes time, and right now i am yet to reach that stage. maybe start with folding photos and words. dont fight them, they are memories and in the past. they need to be preserved but not displayed in the present anymore. time will heal and when talking about them doesnt hurt anymore, then you know its done.