F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

i finally started watching Friends. yes finally. the seasons are like seasons in life. and with those seasons you relive those times. their jokes, their characters, their growing up stories, of love, laughter, sorrow, hatred.. the list is endless. someone once told me its depressing to watch that show, because now you can identify with them.. their thoughts and feelings.. thus making you feel old. not me. to me it just feels nice. warm. like a hug, from far away, virtual in this world of social networking and yet real. yet heartwarming.

they are not perfect. neither are you. sometimes you cant stand them. sometimes you dont understand why they cant stand you. complains fly, bad feelings go around, awkwardness, hurt, anger, disappointment. i never want to see him again. i dont want to ever talk to her again. when will he grow up? why does she not get this straight? its like that episode when Rachel is moving out. She and Monica are all nostalgic and sentimental, so Phoebe gets them to start talking about things they will not miss about each other. and few moments later, they are fighting like cats. more like dogs actually. it comes to the verge that Rachel wont move out anymore just to trouble Monica and Phoebe wont want Rachel to move in either. So Monica tries to "sell" Rachel-the-good-natured-flatmate to Phoebe. one memory leads to another, and soon Monica is crying in Rachel's arms because "now-I-will-have-to-live-with-a-boy".

point is, this is how it is with us all. isnt it? the love-hate, the cant-stand-cant-get-enough, and all such conflicting but endearing emotions that you feel only when you grow up with someone. does it sound like i am confusing the girlfriend-boyfriend, sibling, parent relationships here? well maybe i am.. after all, all those relationship also have a layer of friendship somewhere, don't they?

pick up the phone and call your friends. talk to them. hear them and be heard. take advice. be scolded. share stories of your life, keep people connected and stay aware. relive good times and memories. tell them you care, that you miss them. smile. bring a smile to their faces.

i will leave you with the most touching line a friend wrote to me in recent times -

"keep writing to me. even if i am busy and am not able to reply, i really like reading about you."

being a child

i was told when i was graduating out of school -

you are now stepping into the real world. you will have work to do, dreams to fulfill and responsibilities to uphold. there will be good times and bad ones, and you will change with each experience. you will make mistakes and learn from them. but always do remember to preserve the innocence of the child in you - and then you will always be at peace with yourself no matter what.

innocence - as i write the word i picture one of those Anne Geddes photographs takes with babies and flowers and things. big wondrous eyes gazing at you as if they will never get used to all the things that can be seen. who can ever relate those pristine babies with the diverse faces they will transform into in the next 15-20-60-70 years?! everything around is an attack on their senses, a stimulus to bring out those curious expressions. sight, sound, touch, and out comes the big wide shining grin amidst a squeal of delight.

then there is the sense of appreciation - for mysterious unknown things, anticipation for the next exciting thing, and wonder at the next outcome is what keeps us grounded. what keeps the learner in us alive. we are so small, ever so insignificant in nature's game. even in all the innovations man has fashioned. always a baby, always wondering at what might be next in store for us to discover. i think sometimes, how boring would it become if we could anticipate and pre-empt novelty. what would we strive to learn then? somewhat like the difference between a boy who is born in a small town and who s born in a big city. the small-towner visits a big city and has his head upturned the whole time staring at buildings he has never seen before. fascinated by such beauty, such feat of engineering. the big-citier, on the other hand, has seen nothing less - this is normal for him. when he visits the small town, he will just miss the "normal tall buildings".

innocence for me is also the ability to be happy in small pleasures of life. notice how these things bring a smile to your face - watching fireworks, jumping on a trampoline, dancing in the street, playing in the mud, cooing with the train, and singing kindergarten songs. in those childhood days, impersonating grown family members was also so much fun. " i am as big as my dad - i am not scared of and can touch the elephant head statue hung near the ceiling! (proud look in those eyes) i want all that belongs to my mom - the bindi on her forehead, the chain in her neck. (face shining with authority) i can read as much as my sister - i can turn the pages in her books and read them out loud (pages that were being turned have now been torn - well it was a close try at least) i am big grown up boy - look how i can throw food around! (giggles and laughter)"

and then we grow up and get all mature and reasonable and other boring things. so be a child - always. you will break out of the eggshell, climb over the nest and learn to fly - first over the tree, then the forest and then the world. but dont forget to be happy, silly and wonderstruck at discoveries which might be mundane to the rest of the world. that last piece brings a memory from my childhood trip to dad's village where i pulled out a potato from a field and ran home feeling like the strongest smartest person in the world. here's wishing there are more potatoes to pull out still... amen!