young man - "200 mein chaloge to ghar pe daru pilaunga."
2 ghante baad - "2 beer, long island ice tea aadhi bottoms up. and aur ek beedi ka packet."
"daru peeke ghar aaya aur so gaya. usne raat bhar sapne dekhe ek bandi ko phone kar raha hai. har baar uthke phone check kar raha tha. bbm, gtalk, sms, mail - sare options. sapna hi tha."
"daru peeke ek bandi ko phone karke kaha tha - itne jaldi shadi mat kar. 25 saal ki hai, banda 32 ka hai, jaldi ka hai." uski shadi do hafte mein thi. baki baat jo ki wo to yaad nahi hai, but agli shaam jo usne daant lagayi wo yaad rahi achche se."
"daru peeke bol diya use kitna pasand karta hai. kyu pasand karta hai. usne jawab mein haan kaha? ya sirf muskura di? ya ye sab bhi ek sapna hi tha?"
"beach pe baithe the, barish ho gayi. to daru peeke gane gane lage. itna hanse itna hanse, ki restaurant wale dukan band karke chale gaye. phir bhi hanste rahe."
"daru peeke baat karta hai. uske saath chadhani hai. wo sab jo aise koi soch bhi nahi sakta ki uske man mein hongi. aur jab bolna shuru karta hai, to phir rukta hi nahi hai."
"daru peeke roti hai. aise kabhi rote hue nahi dekha. aur jab dekha rote hue, to pehchana hi nahi gaya. roti hi rahi. roti hi rahi. zor se pakad liya mujhe, aur chhoda hi nahi jab tak rote rote thak nahi gayi. aisa laga ki zamane bhar se aansu bator ke rakhe the. aaj sari kasar nikal ke hi chhodegi mujhe."
aisi kaunse baat hai nashe mein, ki man ki baat bahar nikal aati hai. kyu nahi hai hosh mein itna dam, ki apne man ki baat ka saamna kar saken hum log? why is it that we make a facade, call it our reality and hide behind it. waiting to be rescued in that moment when we can let our hair down, let our emotions out. since when did we lose sight of our humanness and start taking control of our emotions? since when did we start wanting to take a break, and then acknowledge that we do in fact have emotions?
and isnt this alcohol induced intoxication an analogy for all those instruments we use in our lives to try and be in control of our emotions? money, and possessions which give us a sense of power, can-d0. anger and ego which gives us a sense of bravery - people are scared of rubbing me the wrong way. desire and ambition - i will do all that noone has ever done before. smartness and hardwork - noone else is as smart or as hardworking as me.
now go back up and read those examples again. replace daru peeke with one of the intoxication-producing-agents above.. you may have to stretch your imagination a little in drawing the analogy, but overall you will see the connection.. a sense of confidence, and yet a sense of vulnerability, a sense of almost boastful honesty and yet a sense of guilt.. and then open your eyes to all the intoxications you have in your life.
someone rightly said - hell hath fury less than a woman scorned. and to further explain that the book describes how a woman's anger is like a serpent - slow, smooth and much more dangerous than the direct and raw bull-like anger of a man. but think of a mad bull and then the comparison becomes fair. while anger intoxicates a woman, power intoxicates a man.
my eyes were opened when i read the palace of illusions - which narrates mahabharata from draupadi's perspective. first she is intoxicated by the weight of the prophecy about how she will change the history of the course of mankind. then by the sense of not being treated equal to men, to her brother. then by her love for karna and her loyalty for dhri. then by her ownership of her own palace, founded on her ego winning over kunti and all those who would not worship her. then by her desire for vengeance and hatred. then by remorse.
open your eyes. let yourself free of those external influences. and find peace in your normal natural self. then the happiness you feel will not be from an intoxicated laugh, but a genuine heart-warming smile.
