atlas shrugged again

i picked this book up again for various reasons. to get back into reading, for want of knowledge of a better option or even a comparable one and for doing a look back to when i had last read it. that was when i was in third and then again in final year of engineering studies..

i used to identify with the idealism of the characters. their sincerity at work, the integrity and courage they displayed and the straightforward approach with which they solved their problems. this time around i am retaining more of the story, more depth and more layers that Ayn Rand has built in. i did remember the main characters and their portrayals, but had forgotten many aspects and many events in the story. the hints of john galt keeping tabs on dagny through eddie, the systematic way in which the next pillar to fall can be predicted and more. even the typical style in which ayn differentiates the good from the bad - how the former is taut and confident and how the latter is loose and evasive. then there are the minor but still interesting characters - of eddie, of mrs.taggart, of rearden's family, of the dr. robert.. sometimes ayn's dismissal of the social motive, of welfare motive, of selflessness is almost disturbing. but then the thin line drawn by integrity surfaces and makes everything palatable again. then there is what joe - my flatmate - suggested. looking around here where shops have low sales despite discounts, unemployment is high and crime is increasing.. the squatter culture is spreading from the poorer markets to madrid to new york to london to amsterdam, i can visualise the setting of the story better than i did the last time. back then it felt like 1930's must have been bad, and now it is just plain scary. and finally what strikes me most is that then the idealism of the characters used to strike me most. what is morality, the sanction of the victim, how much injustice are you willing to take. and now apart from this, the frustrations from lack of intelligence, sincerity and integrity is what strikes me too. now i can see how all of these characters manifest around me in the real world.

at a personal level, this book reminds me of very trying times i faced back in college. i didn't want to join iim indore for various reasons. the idealist principle of getting what you deserve had come from this book then or at least thats how i associate it. but it had been a difficult decision. not a popular one or a commonly understood one either. family friends strangers, had given mixed reactions. right now the scenario is different but the level of confusion and the lack of support is comparable. this one is also a decision for life and will affect more people and more directly than that of the mba. i am still wondering if my decision is correct, and i am still wondering which principle i am basing it on. i guess time will tell, when i read this book again in a few years.