seeking attention

disclaimer - one of my least like posts. but its something i need to accept myself. so here goes.

its quite interesting to observe how much attention a person can need - i have tried profiling some typical attention seeking traits below. of course we all have our moments of seeking attention. but turns out some of us have it quite a bit. the key aspect that would qualify the grade of attention seeking behaviour, is how vocal a person is about it. one might still think all that i have listed below, but may not ever express it. thus wanting attention but not seeking it. just yet.

fishing for compliments: how does this taste? how do i look? how did i do this? i achieved this! this is my work! i am so enthusiastic and i take so many initiatives. i am so cooperative and i care so much about involving everyone in everything. come let me help you! tease me if you want but it still means you are thinking and talking about me.

talking about the plethora of problems i have: check out the number of emails i answer, activities i am engaged in, issues i am struggling to solve. come hear me out, listen to me, don't tell me what to do - of course i know everything and i will not listen to you anyway and i will do what i think is right anyway. my boss, my boyfriend, my teammates, etc. but for now, i am a victim and you need to sympathise with me. console me because i wont admit to being sorry for myself but then you should because nobody else is busier or more haggard than me right now.

creating a sense of mystery around myself: you cant read my mind, i am a mystery - come feel attracted and curious about finding out more about me. i can surprise you any time, for example dressing up once in a while to show i can look good. but also to prove that i don't dress-up all the time because i don't care enough about it - maybe its just to hide that i am lazy - but still its all about getting people's attention. look at me. talk to me.

being involved in everything that's critical: i am concerned that you wont meet your targets. tell me what you are doing, even if i may not come up with any advice or suggestions. spend your time giving satisfactory answers to all the superficial issues i observe in your work after only taking a fleeting glance at it. ask me for help even if i may only point out problems rather than solutions. tell me what you are doing tonight - i am the social butterfly who gets invited everywhere and your party cannot not have me in there. but then i might say i am busy - ask me why?

turns out i seek attention too. or maybe the better way to put it is i like it when i get attention, but i don't like to admit it and i also don't like to admit that i don't like to be left out. but i cant be too much "not left out" either, soon enough it all starts bothering me - i don't know how to keep it within an acceptable level , so i just go back into my shell.

hmm guess its time for me to choose a side - isn't it?